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Testimonies
| Corie Avery | • | Marlana Bolden | • | Patricia Brooks | • | Theresa Ivy |
Harvey House Profile/ By Mike Acquaviva, Harvey House Resident
As a young boy I thought I had the very best home life possible. I was the envy of my friends for I had a father who not only tolerated me using drugs, he actually supplied them. At age fourteen, my school performance dropped drastically. I quickly went from the top of the class to trouble maker. Twice, I overdosed in school and was taken away by ambulance. I imagine the entire faculty and student body were relieved when, at age sixteen, my education was moved to a juvenile detention facility. My “ideal home life” also began to fall apart. While my father was a chronic drug abuser, he did not use a needle as I had begun to and he looked upon me as a junkie. He cut me off which left me a teen drug addict with no way to support my habit.
I celebrated my eighteenth birthday in a county jail awaiting transport to the penitentiary to serve a three to five year sentence. With a lot of time on my hands and few drugs to use, I went back to my passion of reading. Among the subjects that interested me, pharmacology, psychology, and psychiatry topped the list. I discovered that disorders of the mind cannot be documented and verified the way physical ailments can. I studied the symptoms which would indicate certain drugs be prescribed and created disorders to fit the purpose. Upon my release, I was able to keep a steady flow of narcotics (morphine, Demerol, dilaudid) and once again was the envy of my friends.
Once again, however, my life crumbled, this time with tragic results. My sister was 22 years old at the time and had a girlfriend who I wanted to date, but they were not addicts and, therefore, not under my control. I persuaded them to try these hard core drugs and they agreed. My sister, who had never used a needle before, closed her eyes and presented her arm to me for the injection. Shortly afterward, I left with her girlfriend and eventually went home. The next morning I got a call from my nephew, her son, that “mom is dead”. Sometime that night, she had passed out and could not breathe as her body tried to expel the toxins by vomiting. At the funeral, I could see hate mixed with grief on the face of my father and condemnation from my mother. Looking back, I believe what I saw was sadness and my own guilt made it made it seem like so much more. I wanted to die but didn’t have the guts to kill myself so I went into exile instead.
At age 21, I cared about nothing and no one. I spent the next 15 years shooting dope while living in abandoned buildings, in and out of jail and being sick all the time. I had to find a better way - a better way to get heroin, that is, without being arrested and spending so much time in withdrawal from lack of dope. My “better way” came when a friend suggested I stand on the corner with a sign the read “HOMELESS-HUNGRY GOD BLESS”. Even though I considered this a waste of time, I gave it a try and within minutes a guy in a truck, waiting at the red light, gave me ten dollars. The car behind him handed me a bag with a hamburger and fries. It was a happy walk to the dope house, eating my burger.
I became a constant on that corner to the point of living there. Actually, I made my home underneath the freeway bridge only steps away from where I “worked”. As time passed, I became familiar with traffic patterns around the city and I had a schedule that would put me in contact with the most giving people. This went on for twelve years. I developed a “profile” of who would give the most, using the logistics of age, race, gender, make of vehicle, weather conditions, etc. I became obsessed with my corner and made much money.
The more money I made, the more dope I did, and the lower I sank, even to the point of living like an animal. Under the bridge I lived with rats and mice and was infested with lice, yet I still wanted only dope. One by one, my friends died from overdoses, pneumonia, aids, or murder. Frostbite was a common event of living on the street, usually a result of someone getting too high and not realizing the extent of his exposure. One guy lost both legs from the knee when he nodded (heroin stupor) with the needle still in his leg. I spent many nights shivering under the bridge pleading with God. I had no doubt that God existed, as well as heaven and hell, with my fate being X amount of miserable years here followed by an eternity in hell. I hid nothing from God for I knew that was not possible, so I asked Him, “Do you really care about a parasite like me and do you have the power to reach me?”
The seasons came and went. One day on the corner, I heard a horn and looked up to see a couple of prosperous looking guys in a new truck. Surely this would be a good hit, maybe a hundred dollars or more. To my great disappointment, they gave me a Burger King Meal and shook my hand. The following Saturday they were back again with the same meal. Each week they came back, always with food and warm clothes, boots, and gloves but never any cash. I became curious as to their motives for they asked nothing of me. Eventually, they said they were there to demonstrate the love of God to the hurting. At first, this made me want to stay far away from them, but these guys were consistent and persistent. If I wasn’t on the corner, they’d circled the area to find me. Eventually, I came to trust them and looked forward to seeing them and even agreed to go with them to a detox program.
These were not two idle guys with nothing better to do. They both were executives in the auto industry with demands on their time, yet they walked me through the program, got me involved in their church, and brought me to Restoration Ministries’ Harvey House. I didn’t want to come here and did not think it necessary, but have since learned that a short time in a methadone program will not cure a thirty-five year addiction. The physical withdrawals are just the first step in the road to freedom.
I was full of anger, guilt, shame, rebellion, distrust, and an overwhelming feeling of worthlessness. I needed a complete renewal of mind and spirit. While methadone can, at best, buy an addict some time off the dope, only God can birth a new spirit through forgiveness, cleansing and direction. Jesus Christ accepted me the way I was and the people here at Harvey House and the Spirit of God Fellowship did the same. I was broken and with nothing to offer, a homeless addict from Detroit who knew no one. Whatever expectations I had cannot compare with what I have actually received in the fourteen months I have been at Harvey House. I have been restored to a relationship with God and through him have found a continuing grace to not only live without drugs, but to have a purpose in my life. He has truly restored unto me all the years the locust have eaten and am fully equipped to minister to others who are lost just as my two friends did for me on the corner. Along with grace, He has given me favor with the residents, staff, and congregation here and placed me in a position of trust as the resident manager, coordinating day to day operations.
For the Thanksgiving holiday, I was able to visit my family, who I have not seen in several years, and spend some time with them. It was a good reunion and another step in the restoration process that God is working for me. Though I still have a long way to go, the years of distrust and disappointment are being forgotten and a new beginning is possible. My mother sees a real change in me and has asked me to return as soon as I can.
On the same weekend I also visited my hometown of Detroit and was able to see many of my old friends who are still addicted to drugs and living on the street. These people were amazed at the complete change in me and asked me many questions of how they could become free also. While it is true that God is everywhere, there is not always a place where hurting people can go for help like I got at Restoration Ministries. My graduation will be soon and I hope to continue in the ministry here and in my old neighborhood in Detroit. There are several people in Detroit who are interested in providing a ministry such as Harvey House and it is my hope to be the one that is able to help make that a reality. Through the grace of God and the intense spiritual training I am receiving here, all things are possible. I am well aware of the investment which has been made in me from those who have given their time, money, knowledge, and experience. The relationships I have made are priceless and I thank God for all of them.
Never in a million years would I have imagined that I’d be where I am in life today. Coming from 23 years of active addiction to the Director of Tabitha House was in my plans, but it was in God’s.
I remember sitting in Cook County Jail waiting to be sent to the penitentiary for the second time. I was 39 years old. I hadn’t seen my children in almost ten years. Both my parents had died. I had alienated my brothers and sisters and hadn’t seen them in along time, and I was a high school drop-out with no real work experience. I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. I just knew that I couldn’t go back to the way I was. I wanted to change, I just didn’t know how.
While I was in jail I enrolled in the G.E.D. program on the PACE school tier. I met a guy named Lumus Nichols or “Doc” as we called him. Doc was a counselor for PACE but he was also a graduate of Harvey House. He assured me that change was possible through the transforming power of the Holy Spirit in knowing Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
While acting somewhat as a mentor, Lumus shared with me about Tabitha House. I had previously sent out applications to a few facilities that housed women with my background so that I wouldn’t have to return to the same envi ronment that I’d just left. No one responded. Lumus had given me the phone number to Tabitha House along with a number where I could contact him when I was released from Dwight penitentiary.
I was homeless for 8 days when I left Dwight. I was feeling like I wanted to hurt myself. I felt like my life had no purpose and that maybe I’d be better off dead. But I remembered Lumus, so I gave him a call. I told him that if I didn’t get to a safe place where I could get some help that I was going to die. He told me that Jeanette Goodman and Jacki Rivera had been waiting to hear from me since I paroled out of Dwight. I called Tabitha House and spoke with Jeanette. Jeanette arranged for me to get a ride from the south side of Chicago to Harvey for an interview.
The first person I met was Ray Banks, executive director of Restoration Ministries. That was June 17, 1998 and I’m still very much a part of this ministry and Spirit of God Fellowship today.
I went through Tabitha House and successfully completed the program. I graduate on November 3, 1999. I stayed on for a while and was given my first opportunity to work through the ministry at Restoration Ministries’ Resale Store. I worked there for about 2 years and then I pursed a career in substance abuse counseling. I sent out some resumes and I interviewed for an entry-level counselor position at South Suburban Council on Alcoholism and Substance Abuse to work with women. They hired me and I stayed there for almost 3 years. While there I took the state exams and became a certified CADC and MISA counselor. From there I went to The Gateway Foundation where I worked with Adolescents and Teenagers.
I love children. Initially I didn’t want to work so closely with women. Even at South Suburban it took me a long time to get used to it. When Dr. Sullivan offered me the job at Tabitha House, I laughed. I just knew he was kidding. I got counsel about it, and I was told that it was a good idea. In my obedience to the counsel I’d received I accepted the job, and God bought the increase. I remember the first time I ever gave a lecture at South Suburban; I knew that there was no turning back and that this was what I was supposed to be doing. That is how I feel about being at Tabitha House. I have been given a new perspective along with a burning desire to help women in bringing a message of hope.
I love being with the Tabitha House residents. I love sharing with them. I often take my job home with me by calling them to make sure they know the schedules. Sometimes one or more of them come to mind and I‘ll call just to see how they’re doing. I love what I do. For me it’s not just a job, it’s my ministry as well. I don’t know how many people can actually say that. I remember my last night at Cook County Jail, I had a dream about working with addicts on an administrative level. Almost 4 years later when I walked into South Suburban, God bought it back to my remembrance. He did it again my first day at Tabitha House. I accept it not only as His will, but also as an honor to serve in such a powerful yet sensitive way (it’s not easy working with women).
Along with my position at Tabitha House, I also minister and witness to the women and men detainees at Cook County jail. I’ve been a volunteer there for the last 4 years. I also have the privilege of carrying the same message of love and hope through knowing Jesus Christ to my own children. When I came to Tabitha House, I hadn’t seen my kids in almost 10 years. Now my 17-year-old daughter Caresse lives with me. I’ve lead three of my five children to the Lord and I’ve witnessed to the other two.
I have had the opportunity to live two lifestyles in one lifetime. I choose this one. I am very grateful to Restoration Ministries and Spirit of God Fellowship for not only investing in me, but also believing in the vision of me being able to overcome my past. I once heard Barbara Sullivan in quote this saying in a teaching: “There are two great times in a person’s life. One is the day that they are born, and the second is finding out the reason why.” I can honestly declare that each and everything that has happened in my life has prepared me for such a time as this. I am living my purpose.
I am grateful for the opportunity to share my testimony. I came to Tabitha House in 1999 and graduated from the program on February 7, 2001. I was born and raised in South Carolina. I got pregnant when I was 15. I didn’t want to tell my mom because I knew my dad would blame her. I definitely couldn’t tell him because I knew he was going to be so angry I was afraid to think of the outcome. Sure enough, my father did blame my mom. He wanted me to have an abortion, but my mom stood up to him for the first time and said that wasn’t going to happen. Because of this she packed our clothes and we left while my dad was at work. We moved to my grandmother’s home. When my dad found out we had left he was in a rage, I blamed myself for their breakup, but I also felt that it was a way for my mother to escape and have happiness.
My mom, sister and I lived with my grandmother for a little while and then we moved into our house. We started going to church on a regular basis, but by the age of 21, I had three daughters and had become very rebellious.
I strayed away from the church and I started hanging with the w rong crowd. I wouldn’t come home from work. My mom raised my kids because I wanted to party. This is when I started different drugs - first smoking marijuana then snorting cocaine. One night I went to a club with my boyfriend. He asked me to hide his gun in my coat, so I did. We left the club because we had some trouble with a group of guys. When we went outside these guys were waiting for us. They jumped my boyfriend and beat him up and then they threatened me. I remembered I had the gun so I took it out to scare them. It went off and I ended up shooting the leader of the group. I panicked and left the scene but later that night I turned myself in.
I got a two-year sentence and spent a year and a half in prison. This was 1981. You would think that my lifestyle would have changed, but it didn’t. Satan really had his hooks in me, because I wasn’t trying to know Jesus. I was out of my kids’ lives for 2 years, but when I came home after prison, I was back in the same situation, drugs and partying.
My mom cared for my kids while I was out there crazy. I never was a mother to them. I ended meeting a guy who was in the Navy. We got engaged and moved to Chicago in June of 1988. But, it didn’t work. He became very abusive mentally and it reminded me of the way my dad treated my mom. As a kid, I remember swearing I would never let a man treat me like my dad treated my mom, so I broke off the engagement and left him.
I fell back into the same situation. I started smoking cocaine. I thought of myself as a functional drug addict -- “NOT”. I worked and went to see my kids twice a year at first. The last time I went home was in 1992. At the airport waiting to come back to Chicago, I remember my baby girl, who was 8 year old at the time, crying and screaming asking me not to leave. She said she was never going to see me again and that I wasn’t coming back. Little did I know that was true. It was ten years before I went back.
My addiction got the best of me. Crack cocaine became my god. Before I knew it, I was out there selling drugs to support my habit, something I said I would never do. In my addiction, I became pregnant with my fourth child, TaSonia. I just remember asking God, “Are you crazy? How do you expect me to be a mother to this baby? I smoke crack cocaine. I’ve never been a mom to my other kids. I chose crack over my children, my family even you God. So what’s up?”
At the time, I didn’t want the baby. I didn’t believe in abortion, so I tried to give her up for adoption and even sell her in the black market. But, God had a plan. Every time I would try to smoke cocaine TaSonia would cringe in my belly. She would fight the drugs, but I continued to sell and smoke drugs.
TaSonia was born with drugs in her system and was put into DCFS custody. For the first 6 months, I didn’t even try to get her back. DCFS referred me to a drug recovery program, but I stayed for one day. I told myself I wasn’t ready to stop using. I continued to sell and use drugs. I eventually was arrested and spent three months in Cook County jail. While I was there, I had some time to think about what I was going to do with my messed up life.
In jail, I met Lumus Nichols, who is a graduate of Harvey House. He works at Cook County as a GED teacher. He shared his testimony and it was so similar to mine. I saw how God changed his life. God had opened my ears and was opening my eyes. Doc told me about Tabitha House. I filled out the application in jail. This was in May of 1999.
I entered Tabitha House in July and I was more than ready. Tabitha House gave me a new foundation. God had begun a work. I was asked my issues and I said I needed Jesus and I wanted my family back. I wanted to be the mom I never was. The transition began and I was open. Tabitha House gave me hope. Everything that Tabitha House gave me through Jesus Christ was awesome. Character, accountability, council, teaching, mentors, walking, serving and mostly I was forgiven for my sin by the blood of Jesus Christ.
After Jesus restored and renewed a new Marlana, I was granted custody of my daughter TaSonia and my relationship with my children in South Carolina and my family was restored. While in Tabitha House I was able to go back home for my daughter’s graduation - my daughter who at 8 years old said I wasn’t coming back.
At Tabitha House, I was taught Christian parenting skills and learned how to be a mom. Another class I took was Hope and Healing. My drug addiction didn’t just come from hanging with the w rong crowd. There was something missing. There was a hurting - something that kept me bound to drugs so I didn’t have to face the pain that I buried. Hope and Healing allowed me to conf ront the pain, ask for forgiveness, forgive others and myself and to be free from this pain.
I also received computer skills and on-the job training at local businesses. This was God opening the door for my work place. I had some banking experience so my mentor asked the president of a local bank if he would give me a chance. He did and he hired me as a teller - a job with benefits. A couple from Spirit of God Fellowship trusted me and rented me one of their apartments. Restoration Ministries gave me a car that had been donated to the ministry. God had given me all that I needed in starting over.
After I’d been all settled, a new Christian and a working mom, there was still a skeleton in my closet that the Lord needed to remove. On my way to work one morning - I remembered that date so well April 1, 2001. At 7:00 a.m., I had just dropped off my daughter TaSonia at daycare when the police pulled me over and said that I was 5 miles over the speed limit in a school zone. I knew everything was going to be ok because I had a legal driver’s license, car insurance, a vehicle sticker, etc.
However, when the police ran my license there was a warrant out for my arrest. I was shocked because before they let you out of jail they do an extensive background check to make sure nothing else is pending even probation. That skeleton in my closet was 20 years old. I was in violation of my probation from my 1981 assault case and I hadn’t paid all my restitution.
The negative sinful lifestyle I thought I overcame, I had to face all over again with a lot more to lose. I was arrested and taken to Cook County Jail. The South Carolina police had 30 days to pick me up and take me back to South Carolina. But, if they didn’t come get me, I would be released. But I wasn’t thinking about that. I was just thinking that I would never see my baby again, but again God had a plan. I know if I hadn’t had the foundation and training I received at Tabitha House, I wouldn’t have made it through this. Also, God gave me the saints of my church who prayed and supported me.
I was in Cook County for 10 days and it was unbearable until God spoke to me. In jail, I saw so many women that I knew from when I was in my addiction. When they saw me, they said they had seen something different.
I realized that the Lord sent me back to jail to share the “good news” and when he spoke to me, the Lord said, “I’ve got you. The saints are praying, and I have heard their prayers, and will answer them. Don’t worry about your baby. Give her to me. Don’t you trust me?” So that meant even if I was going to be sent back to South Carolina it would be okay. I would have God’s grace.
God needed me to share the good news of Jesus Christ to the people on my tier in jail. I told the women in jail about the lifestyle I used to live and how God transformed me to a new creation and he would do the same for them. Many of them accepted Jesus Christ as Lord.
While I did God’s work in jail, He was taking care of my baggage. God used every individual in Spirit of God Fellowship and Restoration Ministries on my behalf. They paid my restitution and I was released on Good Friday. God resurrected me from the dead. You see I remembered to trust God no matter the circumstances. I know what the enemy intended for bad, God turned to His glory.
Today, I am a servant for Jesus Christ because he is so wonderful to me. God has blessed me to be a homeowner. Out of 100 applications for a special housing program in Harvey, I was the only one chosen to buy a home through this program. So now TaSonia and I live in a very nice, three bedroom home on a quiet street in Harvey. She is in first grade at Calvary Academy. I volunteer there on Wednesdays, in the library and as a storyteller in her class. I serve on the Tabitha House Women’s Board and I’m a mentor to several Tabitha House residents. I volunteer at Restoration Ministries’ food pantry and I help wherever else God needs me.
I want to end my testimony with my favorite psalm, Psalm 18: 16-19.
“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too st rong for me. They conf ronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”
Tabitha House Profile by Patricia Brooks
First and foremost I give thanks to my Lord and Savior, the Lover of my soul who has a purpose and a plan for my life. My testimony proclaims that the voice of God has manifested in my life. That he has supernaturally affected my life and my circumstances. I feel there is great power in the words of my testimony. It builds faith as nothing else can.
My name is Patricia Brooks. I was born and raised in Chicago by both my parents. I have one brother. He is two years older than me. I had a pretty good childhood until about the age of 12. Both my parents were alcoholics. My mom’s older sister lived with us. Her name was Geneva, but we called her Tonta. Tonta was an important part of the family. She was the backbone. She helped keep things together. I got a lot of wisdom from my Aunt but didn’t use it.
When I was about 12, my parents decided they wanted to buy a new house built from the ground up. Probably not such a good idea seeing that their financial status wasn’t in the best of shape. My parents wanted to be on their own away from my aunt. We saw our home built from the ground up. We lived in it for about one year. My brother and I had good friends. We went to sleep overs and basement parties. Those were the good old days. I enjoyed that year as a child.
I will never forget one day we were coming home from school and our friends came running up to us saying “you’re moving.” My brother and I said “No, we aren’t.” But, when we got to our block the first thing I remember seeing was our kitchen table sitting outside. My mom was drunk and my dad was at work. We were getting evicted. That was most embarrassing moment for me as a child.
We moved back with my aunt and our lives kind of went downhill from that point on. I became rebellious. I stopped going to school and started drinking and smoking. By the time I was 16 I had my first child, a baby girl. I named her Tracy. I dropped out of high school after my second year. Satan’s plan was in the works.
In my early twenties I met and fell in love with a guy named Ronnie. Life was good for a while, but Ronnie liked to gamble and eventually it cost him his life. After Ronnie’s death I went into a state of depression. My aunt Tonta tried to help me. She worked as a housekeeper downtown in condos and she let me work alongside with her. She also sent me to school to become a nursing assistant. She wanted me to have some kind of a career knowing I had never finished high school. I got my diploma, but never pursued it any further. With my job as housekeeper, and my public assistance check, I was set financially to care for my daughter and myself.
I was a functional alcoholic. As time went on, alcohol wasn’t enough and eventually it led to drugs. I picked up my first crack pipe in my early thirties and I was well on my way to a life of destruction. I used drugs for ten years. I did just about anything and everything possible to get drugs. My daughter Tracy and I did drugs together. In order to get money, we would steal clothes and then sell them to buy drugs.
In the midst of my addiction I had three children, DuShawn, Lawrence, and Geneva. Tracy and I were pregnant at the same time. We had our babies a day apart. I remember when I was pregnant with NAME, I was smoking the crack pipe when my water bag broke, but I just kept on smoking. One of my kids went straight to detox after HE/SHE was born.
I thank the LORD today for deliverance for I was truly bound. What Satan meant for evil, the Lord gets the glory. By the grace of God my children are healthy today. In the midst of my addiction my aunt passed away. When she died, she left me her savings. I smoked day and night for months. I had seizures and blackouts. The only medical attention I got was from my smoking buddies asking me “are you all right?” I would then come to realizing that I had been out for sometime.
My only concern was where is my cocaine. My children’s father and I were both on the road to ruins. Our relationship was very abusive and unhealthy for our children.
I remember that all through my addiction my granddaughter Tinesha never gave up on me. She had faith that somehow, someway, I would get us out of the awful lifestyle we were in. Eventually my children were taken from me. I didn’t realize it then- but that was a blessing. They went to live with their father’s mother. Thank the Lord for her.
My mother passed away on the same day my children were taken. That was one of the worst days of my life. I finally got so burned out that I decided to get some help. Not for myself, but for my children. I learned later you have to want it for yourself for it to work. I went to a drug treatment facility called Branden House. I was there for three months. It was in a bible study that I was introduced to Jesus. Barbara Sullivan, my spiritual mom, blessed me with the word of the Lord like I had never heard before. After three months at Branden House, I went to live at Tabitha House.
Tabitha House is one the best choices that I could have made for my life. It is where I got spiritually grounded in Christ. It’s where I began to develop a personal and intimate relationship with my Lord. At Tabitha House, I learned and I am still learning how to live as Christ would want me to live. I learned how to serve and care for others. I learned parenting and job skills. I got hands-on training on what a godly parent was all about. I even had a healing class where I was able to get to the root of my addiction, and I praise God for healing. My daughter Tracy saw what the Lord was doing in my life. Eventually she too got saved, now. She’s walking in God’s Grace.
The power of the Holy Spirit along with Tabitha House has prepared me to live a productive and rewarding life, clean and sober. I graduated from Tabitha House February 16, 2000. I was accepted in the certified nursing training program at Rest Haven Christian Services. I completed the nursing assistant program and was hired as a certified nursing assistant. I knew the Lord was making a way.
Tabitha House and members from my church, the Spirit of God Fellowship walked with me through the difficult times in regaining custody of my younger children. I worked faithfully and planned for the return of my children. They were returned home one at a time so I could adjust. All of my three children had adjustment issues and behavior problems. As they returned home one by one, I had faith in the Lord that he would see me through.
With much prayer and the spiritual influence of my church I began to see a change in my children. My oldest son DuShawn struggled most with behavior problems. He got involved in the after-school programs at Harvey House, and he also joined the youth group. My son won the MVP award in the last basketball tournament that he played in.
By the grace of God my kids have come a mighty long way, I put my faith and trust in the Lord each and every day of my life. I know without him I could do nothing. He gives me the strength and the courage as a single parent to raise my children as best I can. I’m grateful that I chose to walk with the Lord, for me there is no other way. All things are possible with Christ.
I also rent a rehabbed house from Restoration Ministries. I’m financially able to care for my children and myself. Talk about God making a way out of no way. I have come to know who I am in Christ and I praise God for his wisdom and sovereignty in creating me. I’m doing my best to raise my family for the glory of God. The Lord has made me a st rong woman of color, a woman of courage, a woman of conviction and believe me that is a powerful combination. I have faith in myself because I’ve started a new heritage of spiritual wisdom in my family that will continue to be a long line of wise and loving spiritual people. Great and awesome indeed my God is. In my life, he has done marvelous things.
Theresa Ivy Testimony - Tabitha House Graduate (written November 2001)
Today, Theresa is the manager of Restoration Ministries’ new Thrift Store.
My name is Theresa Ivy. I was born and raised primarily by my grandmother in Rockford, Illinois, until age six. My grandmother was responsible for introducing me to the Lord. We moved to Chicago when I was six. My mom was married to my stepfather. My life was pretty sheltered. I was a very shy little girl and didn’t have a lot of friends. At the age of 10 or 11, I was sexually molested by my stepfather. All during this time, I went to church every Sunday with my best friend. After awhile, she moved away and I stopped going to church. But other things continued as usual.
At 16, I had finally had enough and decided to tell my mom, but to my surprise, she didn’t believe me that my stepfather was abusing me. She even slapped me. I was so hurt. I ran away from home with a man that I married when I was 18. I had my first child at age 20 and then my second child. I thought I was happy and loved, but it wasn’t so. During my marriage, I learned more and more about my husband. He practiced voodoo and the occult and read tarot cards. Some things intrigued me and some things scared me. After awhile, God put a conviction on me that things just are not supposed to be like that. I didn’t love my husband. I married to have a father for my children and because he told me he loved me. But I soon found that to be untrue. After five years, I left and after 10 years, I finally got divorced.
During that time, I lived in Chicago, moved to Yellow Springs, Ohio, then to Denver, Colorado, and finally back to Chicago. By this time, I was an emotional wreck, but from the outside you couldn’t tell. I was starting to be promiscuous – one man after another – looking for someone to love me. During this part of my life, I started dabbling with drugs like speed, marijuana, and alcohol. I terminated unwanted pregnancies; I was a mess. Things got worse and worse. I lived with a man I thought I loved and took care of him. I even paid his way through welding school and supported him. When he finished school, he moved out. He said wasn’t ready for my ready-made family. Of course, I was crushed. That’s when I started snorting cocaine. Of course, it was only recreational. I wasn’t a drug addict. The sleeping around increased now. On occasion, I even slept with someone to get high, but I wasn’t prostituting - I still had a job.
Then I met another man. He was a drug dealer. By this time, I was no longer working. I moved in with him while my children were living with my mother. I told myself I was protecting my children so DCFS wouldn’t take them away. But soon I did fall in love with this man. He proposed to me at Christmas, but I eventually found out that he was cheating on me. I was devastated.
This is when crack cocaine came into my life. I wanted to forget this man and not feel the pain I was feeling. I moved back home with my mom. My mom and my stepfather were separated at the time after being married and divorced twice. There were actually talking about getting married a third time when my stepfather was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He had known for over a year before we found out. He collapsed at my mom’s house and was rushed to the hospital. That was on the 1 st day of the month. He died a week later, but I thank God that even in the midst of my madness of using, I heard the Lord tell me to go see him. So, my sister and I went to see my stepdad, which was her real dad. The Holy Spirit gave me forgiveness. I was able to tell my stepdad, “I forgive you, dad, for what you did to me.” He was in a coma at the time, but I told him anyway. I told him I loved him because he was the only father I knew. (My real dad drowned in a boating accident when I was 10.) There was such a release in me when I told him. And although he was in a coma, I believe I put him at peace because one single tear rolled down his face.
At this time in my life, I was still buried in the devastation the men in my life left me in. I wanted someone to love me and take care of me, but not hurt me, but I wasn’t finding that. I smoked crack from sunup to sundown. I sold drugs and sold myself. I would sell anything to get the drugs I wanted. I lived in the streets now and m. My shame wouldn’t let me take this near my mother’s house. I didn’t want her to see me like that, but she still had my children with her. By now, my children were teenagers and being as naive as I was, I thought my children didn’t know about the drugs and my lifestyle. They did, but they loved me unconditionally and never said a word. They just told me they loved me when they saw me and gave me a big hug. I continued on this destructive path for about eight years. Things grew continually worse. I put myself in the position to be abused and raped. I didn’t care anymore. If my mom didn’t care, or the men I chose didn’t care, then why should I continue to try? My lung collapsed while getting high – that didn’t even stop me. The day I was released from the hospital, I went immediately to get high. My life was going out of control even more. I got good at selling drugs, but I wasn’t good at hiding from the police. I found myself going to jail on a regular basis, but even that didn’t stop me. I feared for my life while on the streets – twice I had guns put to my head and had a knife pulled on me – still those incidents didn’t change me. My heart continued to cry out to God. My grandmother lit the flame and each time I found myself in jail, the flames were fanned by devotions or bible study. God always put me where His Word was being spoken. God heard my cry from the heart.
The last time I was in jail was in August 1999 before I came to Tabitha House. God saw fit to sit me down once again. I was arrested in Hammond, Indiana. When I was taken in, my heart was crying out as much as I was physically crying out. That day, God answered me in such a way. A police officer came out and talked to me. He asked why I was crying. I told him, “I am tired of being sick and tired. I know God has been trying to tell me something, but I just don’t know how to follow Him.” The officer went back in his office. Then he came back out. He told me if I was serious and if I really wanted a lifestyle change, then he would give me a number where I could get some help. He then gave me the number at Restoration Ministries. But that wasn’t the end of God’s work. I was still in jail. So the day I went to court, I was before the Judge. He said, “Well, Ms. Ellison, what am I going to do with you?” I earnestly told the Judge, “I need help. I’ve been incarcerated and I’ve been to rehabilitation centers and these won’t work. I need a lifestyle change.” I told him I needed a long-term program. So he asked if I knew any place? I told him one of his police officers, who, by the way, is a member of my church and now a South Holland police officer, had given me information about a place, but it was in my belongings in the property room. But God was moving. The Judge allowed the bailiff to take me back to the lockup to get this number out of my property. I went back in the courtroom with the number. The Judge spoke to me again. He had the court counselor for drug cases take me to his chambers to make a phone call to this place. They spoke to Jacki Rivera, who in turn spoke with Jeanette Goodman. I was interviewed over the phone and I was faxed an application. By the grace of God, I was accepted and that very day, I was released to Tabitha House and a new way of life. The police dropped me off at the Indiana/Illinois state line where Jeanette and a resident of Tabitha House picked me up.
That was two years ago. I’ve given my life over to God, and things are being restored. Today I can see the direction God has for my life. I still make mistakes, but I know God loves me first, I love myself, and with Him all things are possible. I graduated the Tabitha House program in March 2001. God had changed my life so much. Before I graduated, God put an important person in my life – Freddie Ivy. He is the Manager of Restoration Ministries’ Resale Shop. He was my supervisor during my volunteer days at the Resale Shop and my boss when I started working there a year ago. God put love in our hearts for each other, and soon we were engaged. God is so faithful! He has given me an opportunity to be able to continue to work with the women at Tabitha House and to encourage others in their lives. I thank God for putting Officer Serrano in my life and for the Man of God that he is. I know in my heart that this is God’s plan for my life. Now God has recently blessed me. Freddie and I were married on September 15, 2001. Our God is awesome! I just pray that as God has restored my family and me, then he can show me how I can encourage others that He can do the same for them.
I’m glad to say my son is now 22 and doing well. My daughter is 24 and has just made me a grandmother to a beautiful baby girl who was born on October 12. My mom has asked to come to church with me every week since I’ve gotten married. I know God can restore the years the locusts have eaten; He shows me every day! Be encouraged.
